Best Divorce Letter Ever!!!


Best Divorce Letter Ever!!! 
Dear wife: 

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. 
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. 
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you 
quit your job today & that was the last straw. 
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had 
cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. 
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of 
your soaps. 
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything 
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or 
you don't love me anymore; whatever! the case, I'm gone. 

Your EX-Husband 
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West 
Virginia together! 
Have a great life! 
--------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband 

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you 
& I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from 
what you've been. 
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & 
griping. Too bad that doesn't work. 
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that 
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised 
me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't 
comment. 
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused 
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. 
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 
price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my 
sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. 
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it 
out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my 
job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you 
were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope 
you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that 
the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take 
care. 
Signed, 
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! 

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was 
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

12 comments: Leave Your Comments

  1. HILARIOUS!
    What Does Everyone Think? (Especially Women)?

    ReplyDelete
  2. HaHaHa thats what happen when someone cheats. Karma is digital this days..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Was born carl? What's that supposed mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha too good

      Delete
    2. Lol greed ! So foolish

      Delete
  4. ��������������

    ReplyDelete

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